Its the festive season and many of you out there are likely buying presents for others, sending Christmas cards to others, catering for others, making sure you work is all complete before the end of the year and if you have children there is 2 weeks of school holidays to factor in for entertaining the children. This time of year can be frantic for some and for others it can be extremely lonely as they do not have Christmas to share with loved ones or sometimes even friends and family.
Whatever your situation, I am going to invite the question, are you taking care of your needs? Are you practising self love?
I find often with myself and many other women I work with, they are great at taking care of the needs of others, they put others needs before their own and over time this can leave them feeling drained, miserable and sometimes resentful. They are giving from an empty vessel as the need to take care of others overrides their own self love and care.
It does require that you get used to a new concept – receiving :). How good are you at this? I know I would not ask for help and if it was offered I would say, I’m OK, I can manage, as any wonder woman would? I was terrible at saying no and was always the first to offer help. Trust me when I say there are many takers in the world who are happy to receive your gifts of time, energy and even money. Given we are about to go into a new year, take some time to establish if you want this to continue or actually it could be good to give some of that time, energy and money to you.
As it is the festive season and it is a time of giving. I am going to ask each and every one of you to ask yourself what you are going to give to yourself? What is it that you really need? Is it more sleep, is it a hug, is it some support?
Instead of saying ,I cant have that because, I want you to think about who you could ask to help you achieve this and are you willing to be open to receive it? Who could you reach out to, even if it is a support group, a forum, local community centres. Or could you ask your partner, your friends or even your family?
To all the men out there reading this, if you have a partner, she may just be in need of your help, yet she has got so used to “managing” and she doesn’t know how to ask. Maybe its time to offer, say yes if she asks for help and dont be offended if she forgets to say thank you or is even sounding ungrateful. Us women are just trying to get used to a new way of being and we dont fully understand men yet and how to fully see how amazing they are. I’m one of the ones that is changing though, so all hints and tips gratefully received. 🙂
In learning to receive and honouring my needs, I have found I have more energy, I feel I can give more to others and I also know when to walk away. I know when my energy is being zapped. I also notice that I am being offered more help and support and also lovely treats of drinks, dinner, flowers etc. And do you know what, it feels good. I would highly advise it and yes it can take a bit of time to change to this new habit and yes others can wonder what on earth is going on and may even say you are selfish. Thats correct and thats OK and usually those that say you are selfish have been the ones taking in the first place. Let them deal with the fact they no longer can take, take, take and notice how you feel receiving, receiving, receiving. Give gratitude and blessings for all you receive and watch it continue to come more and more and more.
As the saying goes, put your own oxygen mask on first. Self care and self love is essential for us to operate and be at our best and yes that sometimes means saying no.
Go on its Christmas, what are you going to give to yourself?
I’d love for you to share