No comments yet

Releasing the need to control

Following the BREXIT results, it feels we are in uncertain times, no clear plan, no clear leadership and much fear and propoganda about the future of the nation and even the world. Many want to return to the old and familiar asking many questions, what will happen financially, to trade, travel, relations with our neighbours?

Change isn’t easy because we get used to how things are, we feel safe and secure, we know what is happening, how things work and especially if we have a lovely little image of life, we dont want to change. Even when things don’t feel good, they are familiar territory and that feels safe.

However, we learn when we expand beyond our comfort zone and to keep the status quo and how we “think” we want things to be keeps us stuck in the same place. If we can shift our perspective, if we can go through that initial discomfort or fear factor, we can open up to new experiences, people and sometimes places. It requires courage, but it also requires that we release the need to control.

When we look to control, we put conditions, parameters in place of how things have to be. This blocks the flow and our openness to new possibilities.   I am definitely not a shining example of someone who has released all control and is totally in the flow.   What I do know is I am learning and becoming aware of how I want people to behave in certain ways so I feel OK, how I want life to work out in a set way so I feel OK, how I even think a set way is what is going to make me feel OK and then when changes hits and I don’t feel OK, I just want to do anything to not sit with the discomfort of not feeling OK!!

It is exhausting!!!

What I am noticing is the need to control is often based on FEAR. When we can look at FEAR and see it for what it is we have an opportunity to transform that energy and in the process shift long held habits and patterns.

The consciousness of the planet is shifting and we are all being asked to change. To find a new way to work in this world that honours each other and the planet that we are all part of.   To allow the feminine to rise, to learn to BE instead of DO and to allow the power of creativity to RISE so that we can CREATE a new world, without the old structures, beliefs and paradigms we have been operating in. This requires change and sometimes quite significant change will be required.

Heres my tips to navigate change:

BE KIND TO SELF – this is essential!! When we are going through change it can bring up much fear and resistance. Be kind to yourself, don’t judge yourself for how you are feeling and reacting, however, be aware of how you are reacting and acknowledge it and ask, is this because we are changing?

ACKNOWLEDGE HOW YOU ARE FEELING – When change appears like it is forced upon us, this can increase the resistance factor and also push us into victim mentality of “why me”, “they did this to me”. Feelings can come up of sadness, anger, grief etc. It is important to acknowledge the feelings and also to feel them rather than close down and shut them out.

BREATHE – change can be stressful and we can go into the realms of the mind, “thinking” the worst “imagining” different scenarios and often trying to plan for every eventuality or clinging to how things are so we don’t need to change. The easiest way to get out of the stress feeling is to BREATHE. That is breathe into the belly, to feel into the body and to calm the mind, the CNS and get present again.

LOOK FEAR IN THE EYE – Ask yourself what is it you are really afraid of? Write it down if you have to i.e. if I lose my job, I’ll end up on the streets as a bag lady or I wont meet another man if I end my relationship, this dis-EASE is going to kill me.

WHAT ARE THE OPPORTUNITIES – Instead of looking at what the negatives, look at what the lesson or the blessing is in this situation? You can learn new skills, had you secretly wanted your own business? Can you learn about your own independence, open up to love in other ways or embrace a new and different relationship. Does this give you an opportunity to receive help, support and nurturing, to learn more about your body and make changes to facilitate your own health and wellbeing.

GET PRESENT – the only moment is now. Get present with what you can see, feel, hear and taste around you. Take a moment to notice your stream of thoughts and what they are saying to you. Witness them, do not judge, just become aware.

The beauty of releasing the need to control, is the universe can come in and navigate us easily through both calm and turbulent waters. It is when we resist it becomes difficult and even more scary. Now more than ever it is important to learn to release the need to control, to trust in a grander plan and to navigate through uncertain times.

Post a comment