It was not on my bucket list to EVER do this. However, following my Amazon trip I was given clear messages to connect to my heart and follow the guidance.
I was not too happy when I got the guidance to fast and the universe then shows me a FB post by the wonderful Samantha Rayn Bachman (check out her website www.samanthabachman.com) saying she is doing a 40 day fast from beginning of January and who would like to join, 10,20,30 or 40 days for an overall detox and cleanse.
This unconscious thing then happened where I responded and said I’m in for 10 days???!!!! I will be honest, my mind was saying seriously, WTF are you doing? My heart was calm and saying, this is needed.
Let me be clear
- I do not need to lose weight.
- I am not looking to lose weight
- I love my food
- I am reasonably healthy with my diet, although I am prone to the odd moments of fish and chips, pizza and lots of carbs.
- I don’t feel I am overloaded with “crap” and need to detox.
However, I did it, said yes and committed further by posting all over FB.
It began 4th January 2016, no food, just water, water and lemon, water and turmeric, oh and a bit more water.
The best I can say is I feel a bit like “shit”. Not much energy, head feels groggy and having to deal with the hunger pangs, which actually aren’t as bad as I was expecting. After practising years of meditation and tai chi, I have found that you can breathe into them, sit with them and realise that it is a habitual pattern as the body is expecting food at a set time.
What I now understand this is not just about cleansing your body, it is a whole mind, body, soul experience. During these first 3 days, it became evident to me that I eat out of habit and sometimes boredom and also I do not want to feel empty. This creates space which brings up so much fear. So now I have the space, I have 2 options, give up and eat or sit with it. I opt for the latter.
What I discover is when we have space, we can fill it with what we want. Or we can just sit in it without having any clutter. In this space, there is nothing, no distractions and silence. A real treat in this modern world.
As a result of this, I have found my meditations getting stronger, guidance is clearer, and I see and feel more light. When we have more light, we have less darkness and even within the darkness, one small light can grow and light the way. I therefore, sit with my darkness, the negative thoughts, the times where I have been unkind to myself, the parts of me that I do not embrace, the good, bad and ugly.
Whoopeee. I am finding that I am feeling better. I have more energy, although haven’t ventured too far from the house. The hunger isn’t the same, just the odd moments.
However, with the cleansing and the emptiness. “Stuff” starts to come up. With a heightened sense of awareness and my hearts guidance I sit with it and embrace it, love it, forgive and let go. Mine does not want to let go in the physical sense, despite numerous epsom salt cleanses – not funny!!
At this point I am told all the hunger pangs should have stopped, however, mine get worse. They come in waves and it takes breathing, presence and water, water, water for them to subside.
My energy levels have totally dipped and I question what is this for? The guidance I get is bringing more light into my body.
I guess, if you cleanse the body of all the “crap” then you can indeed bring in more light.
I have lost approximately 5kg which for my body weight is a lot. I am now getting back to my teenage body state. This brings up all the hatred I had about myself, the memories of being teased at school for being thin, all the names I was called, that awkward feeling of being all arms and legs, not much boobs or body, of hiding away not wanting to be seen, feeling unattractive and so the list goes on.
I have to sit with all this and love the body that I am in. To finally be in my body and stand in my power regardless of how I look the projections, perceptions and sometimes hurtful things people think and say. I am being fully present to it all, witnessing what is going on.
Above all is the connection I have to my heart and the light and love within that. No matter what is going on, while all these thoughts and feelings arise, when I come back to that place in my heart. Nothing seems to matter and I remember, I always was amazing, beautiful, gifted and fabulous and above all, full of love and joy.
I cannot tell you how relieved I am to get to this point and how impressed I am with myself for doing this and lasting the full 10 days. There were times when I wanted to stop and it wasn’t will power that made me continue it was my heart telling me I could and filling me with light which gave me a whole new energy.
I am beginning to reintroduce food back into my system, this has to be a gentle process. After not eating for 10 days its not advisable to hit the chip shop straight away. I have also decided that I am going to continue cleaning my system and finding a diet that works for me in terms of keeping my mind, body and spirit light. So will be trying raw for the next 30 days and if it feels right vegan after that. All new for me and OMG no more Friday night Chippie Teas!!!
Theres much info. out there on fasting, some good, some bad. You have to decide if it is for you. I would advise though, get support, work with your body and what it is guiding you, it knows best, don’t mentally push yourself beyond your limits and use the opportunity to have a total detox, mind, body and spirit. Oh and please don’t do this because you think its “spiritual” and all of a sudden you will become enlightened as a result of it. Highly likely you won’t!!!